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New American Revolution
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If you are very quiet, you can hear a sucking sound all around you. That is the sound of the federal machine we call a government sucking the future from our children's lives. It is hard to hear over the din of six-hour funerals, idiotic cartoons, cruise ship fiascos, and Aruban mysteries. But, every pimp, whore and hustler working the beltway circuit hears it loud and clear - and it is party time in Washington.

The international gangsta of love and all things good, Sugar Daddy Dubya, pumped up the volume when he rolled out the new master plan he calls the budget. Sugar Daddy put the word out on the street that he is going to clip Americans for $2.77 trillion and he's going to take care of all his people.

The Imperial Sugar Daddy plans on passing out $9,295 for each and every one of the 298 million men, women and children in America. The hookers in Congress are high-fiving each other in the cloakrooms as the "K" Street pimps pass out the bribes. The think tank war pimps and Big Pharma drug pushers are laughing all the way to the bank.

Meanwhile, the vampire central bankers know that Congress is on the verge of borrowing another trillion dollars. They are getting the printing presses ready to print up some more monopoly money to lend out - creating more debt while devaluing the existing monopoly money further. These money lending vampires love that sucking sound. What better way to exploit the zombie workers of America than to lend them play money?

The central bankers know that the whores in Congress will have to raise the debt ceiling to about $9 trillion since the national debt is now at $8.2 trillion - which is already above the debt ceiling of $8.184 trillion.

The national debt, which has increased every year for the last 45 years, now stands at over $27,500 for each American. By raising the debt ceiling to $9 trillion, each American zombie slave will be in debt an additional $2,600 for a grand total of over 30 grand. That would be a debt of over $90,000 for a family of three - and all before Sugar Daddy Dubya heads back to Texas.

The bamboozled public thinks everything is great, despite the high cost of heating, gasoline, food, health care and real estate. Even though there is a negative savings rate, the little people know they can take the ever expanding equity out of their homes. Somehow, they just know that they can keep borrowing and borrowing - after all, that's how Sugar Daddy does it.

As long as there are 12-packs of beer and episodes of American Idol, there is no need to worry about weakening dollars that will cause interest rates to soar to provide foreigners the incentive to continue bankrolling Sugar Daddy. As long as the news stays focused on Britney Spears not using a car seat for her baby, there is no need to even know about stuff like trade deficits and unfunded liabilities for Social Security, Medicare, and the perpetual war on tyranny.

For the sake of the economy, we can only hope that the zombies don't start thinking. Recent polls reveal that despite the love of a good war against evil, some zombies think that they were lied to about the reasons for the Iraq war. This could really spoil things for the vampires and war pimps who want to drop a few bombs on Iran.

The whores in Washington would be put in an uncomfortable position if public opinion runs against a war on Iran. They would have to choose between reelection and forcing Iran to accept American monopoly money.

Those crazy Persians want to start selling their oil for Euros instead of U.S. funny money. It seems the same nations that are putting out the cartoons that are all the rage in the Mideast could literally give America a run for our money.

It is very hard to explain to zombies that if foreign nations quit using American monopoly money, bad things could happen to them. Things like higher interest rates that would make lending to deadbeats more attractive could result in a decline in jobs and real estate prices. Without constantly appreciating real estate prices, folks couldn't keep borrowing to buy that new SUV.

Fortunately, zombies are afraid of their own shadows. Sugar Daddy only has to mention Iranian mushroom clouds a few times and the frightened zombies won't even bother to wonder if Iran poses a military threat to America. They will be more than willing to send their neighbor's children off to fight and send their own children the bill to pay for it. There is certainly no need to worry their little minds with boring economic realities.

American zombies know in their cold hearts that the economy is great - Sugar Daddy told 'em so and all the happy pimps, whores and hustlers agree.

This article contributed by Tom Blanton of Richmond, Virginia.