Hello boys and girls. Can you say chump? Chump. That's right. Do you know what a chump is? A chump is someone who lets bad men do bad things to them and chumps will never do anything about it. Do you know any chumps?
Some children live with two chumps - mommy and daddy. You see, mommy and daddy let bad men, called politicians, take their money away. The politicians are like little kings who like power and money. They take money from mommy and daddy and use it to start wars, buy votes, build jails, spy on you and your friends, and other nasty things.
These politicians can never seem to take enough money, so mommy and daddy let them borrow money to spend now knowing that you and the other children will have to pay the money back when you are older. Chumps, like mommy and daddy, are usually pretty stupid when it comes to politicians.
You see, politicians lie a lot - almost all the time. They lie about nearly everything. Chumps know the politicians lie to them but are too scared or stupid to say anything. In fact, chumps will vote for politicians knowing that they will lie to them and take away their money.
Politicians need grown ups to vote for them so they can keep on being little kings. Some politicians call themselves Republicans and some call themselves Democrats. But, for this lesson, we will call them Republicrats. It is very hard to tell the difference between Republicans and Democrats.
President Bush is like the king of the world. Everyone has to do what he says or he throws a tantrum. The President decides how much money to take from mommy and daddy and then the Republicrats that run the government agree with him so they won't be punished. This is called passing a budget.
The Republicrats just passed President's Bush's new budget. After the budget was passed, President Bush said, "This is a responsible budget that reins in spending to limits not seen in years."
Of course, the President is lying. This budget is the largest budget ever passed. Spending was not reined in. Spending was increased. The new budget is 2.56 trillion dollars. Can you say trillion? A trillion is a million million. It is a big big number and looks like this, boys and girls: 2,560,000,000,000.
To give you some idea how much money the President wants to spend, you will need a calculator. Push 2, then 5, then 6, and then push ten zeros. Then divide that by the number of people in America: 296,000,000. Push the equal button and the calculator will show that the President wants to spend $8,648 for each American.
Chumps have a hard time doing basic math. It gives them headaches. Also, chumps don't like to know they are chumps. They would rather pretend that the Republicrats are not lying to them. They like to pretend that the bad men aren't taking all that money from them. Some chumps don't even realize that the government can only spend money they take from Americans.
Now, lets figure out how much money the big bad government will spend on behalf of a typical family of three. We'll call them the Chump family. There is Mr. Chump, Mrs. Chump, and little Bobby Chump. First you enter 8648 into the calculator. Then you multiply by 3. The calculator will then display 25944. That means the lying President wants to spend $25,944 on behalf of the Chump family.
Can you say big bucks? That number 25944 is a pretty big number, boys and girls. That is because the budget is spread out over a whole year. Since there are 52 weeks in a year, you can divide that big number (25944) by 52 and the calculator will display the number 498. That is how much the federal budget is for one week - $498 - for the Chump family. That is more than Mrs. Chump earns in a week working at the Family Dollar Store.
Lying politicians know that the Chump family would become angry if a gun-toting tax collector came around every week to take the $498, so they make the bosses of mommy and daddy take it from their pay. The Republicrats know that most people can't afford to pay so much in taxes, so they take some of it from businesses and the businesses just add it to the prices they charge when you buy things.
Republicrats like to take money so much, they can never get enough. They can tax people and businesses and it is never enough. When the Republicrats want more money, they borrow it. They never pay any of it back, so the debt just keeps growing and when you boys and girls grow up, you will have to pay the debt. So far, the Republicrats have borrowed 7.7 trillion dollars. That is a really really big number isn't it?
Using your calculator, you can do the math and figure out that the government debt is $26,013 for each American. That means the Chump family's share of the debt is $78,039 and growing. If you are lucky, maybe the Republicrats will send some of the money they spend your way. They think that will make you want to vote for them.
Mommy and daddy will probably go vote on election day. Most likely they will choose to vote for one of two Republicrats. Sometimes mommy will vote for one Republicrat and daddy will vote for the other Republicrat. Most people vote for the Republicrat that tells the best lies.
Mommy and daddy will probably tell you all about voting. They will tell you that they voted for the Republicrat that promised to do the most for America. They will say they did their civic duty. Can you say duty? Not doodie - that's what politicians are. Duty.
What did we learn today, boys and girls? We learned that mommy and daddy are chumps that vote for liars who will take a lot of money from your family. We also learned that these liars can never take enough money to spend, so they will borrow money that you will have to pay when you grow up.
So, when mommy and daddy say they did their civic duty, remind them that they are chumps.
This article contributed by Tom Blanton of Richmond, Virginia.