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THE WAR PARTY IRAQ PLAN




The Senate wants an Iraq plan. The American people want an Iraq plan. The Iraqis want an Iraq plan. Everyone wants an Iraq plan except the leadership of the Democrat and Republican Parties.

Lots of people and organizations have floated Iraq plans, but none have been suitable. Democrat war hawk John Murtha, a Marine veteran and House member from Pennsylvania, recently proposed what seemed to be a reasonable Republicrat plan. He presented his plan in the form of a House Resolution:

Section 1. The deployment of United States Forces in Iraq, by direction of Congress, is hereby terminated and forces involved are to be redeployed at the earliest practicable date.

Section 2. A quick-reaction U.S. force and an over-the-horizon presence of U.S. Marines shall be deployed in the region.

Section 3. The United States of America shall pursue security and stability in Iraq through diplomacy.

The administration reacted by portraying Murtha as a radical peacenik in league with Michael Moore. The leadership of the Democrat Party distanced themselves from Murtha's plan and the Republicans pulled out all the old cut and run rhetoric.

The GOP got so upset about even the thought of leaving Iraq that in a fit of feigned anger, they decided to force the Democrats to vote on a House Resolution calling for total and immediate withdrawal - thereby proving the Democrats support terror. Murtha's resolution had a chance of actually being taken seriously, so the Republicans decided to introduce their own resolution to vote against.

Republican Duncan Hunter introduced the following resolution:

Expressing the sense of the House of Representatives that the deployment of United States forces in Iraq be terminated immediately.

Resolved, that it is the sense of the House of Representatives that the deployment of United States forces in Iraq be terminated immediately.

Then, Congress proceeded to debate this resolution instead of debating Murtha's resolution while pretending to be debating Murtha's resolution. After all the yelling, screaming, and meaningless platitudes, the House voted and three members voted in favor of Hunter's resolution.

Despite a clear majority of Americans who have had enough of Iraq, the Democrats and Republicans decided to opt for surreal political theater where fake resolutions were debated instead of any meaningful discussion of resolving the Iraq problem.

It is obvious that the bi-partisan War Party wants to remain in Iraq forever. However, Americans want a plan for Iraq that ends the conflict. So, I would like to offer the following Iraq plan that will get America out of Iraq this century and is also politically viable. The leadership of both the Democrat and Republican Parties should find this plan to be to their liking.


THE WAR PARTY IRAQ PLAN:
SEVEN STEPS TO VICTORY AND PEACE


One - Since most Iraqis would like American troops to leave Iraq, they must be killed as quickly as possible. This could be most effectively accomplished by nuking all of Iraq except for Kurdistan.

Two - Since Iran and Syria are gathering threats to Israel, the American way of life, and the freedom that Americans enjoy, they must be nuked - except for the oil fields in Iran. At this point, enough troops needed to protect the oil fields in Iran will be withdrawn from Iraq.

Three - Since Egypt and Saudi Arabia could become unstable at some time in the future and threaten America, governments administered by Israel must be installed so that freedom and democracy can flourish.

Four - Since the governments of Jordan and Lebanon could possibly become unfriendly to America's national interests at some time in the future, American monitors must be allowed to oversee the existing governments.

Five - Amercia shall build a wall around Palestinian areas and no Palestinians shall be allowed to leave these areas.

Six - America, Britain and Israel shall form a collective called the Oil For Peace Corporation for the purpose of managing all oil transactions in the Mideast. Title to Oman, Qatar, and Kuwait shall be acquired by the Oil For Peace Corporation and these locations shall serve as headquarters for business operations and private peacekeeping forces.

Seven - All U.S. troops shall withdrawn from the Mideast and be redeployed to South and Central America in the year 2060, at which time security in the region shall be maintained by the private peacekeeping forces employed by the Oil For Peace Corporation. Dissidents, insurgents, protesters, and political opposition parties shall be killed immediately to guarantee security.

Now, this is a plan that secures America's national interests, supports the troops, and brings peace with honor. It will provide decades of economic growth in the defense sector - assuring maximum campaign contributions. The plan will eliminate anyone capable of becoming a terrorist in the Mideast. Most importantly, it provides a certain exit date.

I am sure this plan would be met with approval by neocons, neoliberals, defense contractors, Israeli lobbyists, Christian dispensationalists, gasoline refineries, nationalists, mercenaries, armchair generals, and citizens who revel in the glory of death and destruction. As such, it would be assured of passage by Congress and President Bush would certainly sign it. A loud minority of angry and bellicose Americans would also support it.


This article contributed by Tom Blanton of Richmond, Virginia.